The Beginning of Grace

Getting a new computer has meant sorting through some old files and making my new hard drive is neat and orderly. In doing so, I came across this from a year ago sitting in an "unposted blog" folder. Journal/sermon/small group notes say it was written at an intersection of struggling with life stuff and sin and hearing a sermon on Isaiah 6—sin, becoming like our sin and God's response. (Oh, and going over it reminds me of Walt's Christmas Lessons, but no plagerism is intended.) Rereading it encouraged me, so I thought I'd belatedly post this result of meditating on, hearing preached and discussing the very broad topic of God and sin:

What was God thinking when He created Adam? As He stooped to form each limb, each finger, each toe, what did He feel? As the Creator molded eyes, ears and lips, what did He think about? When He considered the future, what did He hear and see?

If I truly believe that God is transcendent over time as well as immanent in time and if I truly believe that His omniscience is over all of actual history, not what may be history, then surely He saw Adam disobey.

And much, much more than that.

He saw all of human rebellion. He knew of each sinner, their sins and their sin’s effect on other sinner’s. He heard each lie, saw every evil act. Each generation’s wars, genocides, forced marches, and atrocities, He surely saw. He knew about hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, and tornadoes and the people trapped, mangled and killed by them.

He knew Abraham would father a nation that He would call His own, but that they be ever running away from Him, even as the man He now bent over would.

He saw His own Son, the very Word by Whom all creation holds together and the radiance of His glory, sent into this very sin-hardened world for the very purpose of being killed by faithless corrupt people—people He was now forming with His own hand.

He knew the Church, the second people He would call to Himself from many nations, the oft squanderers of the grace He would give them.

Still He knew more. And thus my theology is not complete unless I admit and cherish one more step.

When forming Adam, the Lord knew of me. He knew how I would shake my fist at Him and declare “Unfair!” He knew my rotten idols that I would cling to, return to, worship and rot myself with.

Yet, seeing all of this, God still bent over the dust He had formed and breathed life into it. We did not deserve to even begin as a species. In this first act of grace toward man, God gave man physical life and a soul. Both of these, we would take and tear apart, our own and others.

God knew more than the world’s sin and He is more than all knowing—He is also all wise and all powerful. Sin did not blind Him or confuse Him or frighten Him or weaken Him.

He knew He would give His Son to once again breathe life into His creation. What we turned back into dust at the Fall, He would not keep as dust. He would call me His child, pay my numerous sins with His immeasurable grace and create in me a new heart. The Creator knew that every such new heart would, by His empowering, seek to praise Him, and that in that recreation He would be glorified.

Knowing all this and able to accomplish such an end, His good and holy and perfect will was well pleased to give Adam that very first breath.

Thus, grace was given from the very beginning.

Hallelujah!

Rehearsal

A song in church today had the phrase “as we rehearse redemption’s story.”

A rehearsal is not the real thing. It is practice for the real thing. Everyone is still learning their lines and marks. The director has to keep jumping in and telling the actors where there supposed to be or how they are to be feeling as they say their lines. In one of those plays we all did as kids, my director told us, usually when we started complaining, that we did rehearsal so we could get all of our mistakes out before the performance that really mattered, the one for our parents.

In many ways, that is life here on earth. We are practicing for heaven. We flub our lines; we miss our marks, but by God’s grace and direction we do it again and we better glorify Him. And that is ok, because this is rehearsal.

But not just any rehearsal. This is a rehearsal for the end, for the throne, for the Day of the Lord. When rehearsal is over, we will be before the Lord our Maker and Saviour. We will be perfect but only because He will have made us so. The redemption we now work out with fear and trembling will have been made complete, and the song of praise that wells up within my soul will be sung with a clarity that gives Him and only Him praise.

Now that is not quite true. I do and trust myself. I speak and my heart is proud. I sing and I do not hear the words. I live and I seek foolish things. And so I rehearse. The Director reminds me of Who it is I sing about. He chastises my motivation for what I do and say and think. He strips away my pretentious costume of self-sufficiency and bids me come. He tells me to sing again.

So again, I do...speak...live...sing less of I and more of Christ who lives within me. Why? Because I eagerly anticipate with faith and hope the Day when rehearsal will be over and I will join the choir of redeemed saints to sing before the Lord.

Rehearse well this week: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer." Rom. 12:12

Things I've Gotten Used To

Here is a list I started compiling a while ago of different things that I realized would be different when I got home. Not an exhaustive list, just ones I encountered and thought "Huh" at the time and, of course, remembered to type up when I got home. Now that I am home here it is.

Please do note that some of these are not meant to be read while you are eating, especially if you are of the squeamish variety.


1) Plan A is never done; it is usually Plan D or E.
2) Plans change by the minute, occasionally by the hour, and usually right before you start them.
3) Plans changing include how many people are coming: 83 girls, 64 boys, and 11 others will change to 107 girls, 71 boys and 15 others if you wait.
4) No one knowing what “other” means so just waiting until the group arrives before figuring it out.
5) Being told 2 hours before you are supposed to leave that you are taking a 4 day trip out of the city.
6) A four year old kid have his mom pull down his pants and push him into a squat for a sidewalk bathroom.
7) Babies and small toddlers having split pants so that their moms don’t have to do #1. They can just squat whenever they need.
8) A slaughtered sheep hanging from its back feet and being burnt for barbecue.
9) A sheep getting slaughtered on the sidewalk outside the restaurant.
10) A restaurant installing a special scaffold in the front of the restaurant so they don’t have to slaughter the sheep in the back where people can’t see, but can slaughter as advertising.
11) The sheep hanging from said scaffolding being lit on fire as a way of barbecuing.
12) The snorting out of boogers, either inside or on the street.
13) Looking at the wall of your rather nice hotel and seeing evidence of booger snorting.
14) Getting bodily hauled to wherever you are going so hard by your “friend” that you worry about bruises.
15) Almost all girls and women arm in arm down the street.
16) If you are a girl, your female acquaintances grabbing your arm to walk arm in arm.
17) Unplugging your washing machine before sticking your hand in it so you don’t get electrocuted.
18) Giving up on the spinner side of your washing machine because when it does work it smells like burning rubber and wire.
19) Prepaid utilities—water, gas, electricity, phone, Internet, all of it.
20) A dance party means girls waltzing together while the guys sit.
21) Considering getting diarrhea once a week from funny food a good week.
22) Getting stared at.
23) A grown man taking a leak outside in the middle of winter.
24) A taxi still driving around with a flat tire.
25) Really funny mis-translations and signs. My favorites are "Careful Slithery Floor" and "No Exploding Cars."
26) Going to the hospital just means going to the doctor.
27) Getting an IV just means taking medicine.
28) Leftovers sit out on the counter all day.
29) Lamps and light fixtures that look like they were designed while on an LSD trip.
30) Firecrackers that sound like bombs going off at odd hours any day.
31) Firecrackers bouncing off of your 6th story apartment.
32) Rocket launchers firing blanks for weddings.
33) Steps will not be the same height in a flight of steps. The first and/or last ones will be either noticeably taller or shorter.
34) “Do you like China?”
35) “Are you married?”
36) “What do you think of Chinese food?”
37) “How old are you?”
38) “What do you think of China?”
39) The waitress arguing with you over what food to order.
40) The waitress being scandalized that you do not order any rice or dumplings.
41) Just because it is on the menu doesn’t mean it’s available.
42) Ordering by going to the restaurant fridge and pointing at the vegetables you want.
43) Realizing that your translator orders the same way, minus the pointing.
44) Being asked if you have a stomachache because you are barefoot.
45) Avoiding all manhole covers because they aren’t always secure.
46) You are in danger of getting addicted to second hand smoke.
47) You have to wait to take a shower because the water is off.
48) The water comes back on, but now you have to wait because the electricity is off.
49) Both finally come back on long enough for you to take a shower, but one or both get turned off before you can do the dishes.
50) You play Apples-to-Apples with fellow Americans and “corn dog” wins the adjective “gorgeous.”
51) Being told you are fatter than last time I saw you.
52) Bones and bone shards being in all meat, from fish to beef.
53) The presence of ruffles, sequins, rhinestones and applique flowers (and various combinations) on all women’s clothing.
54) Women tying see-through scarves over their whole head when they are outside.
55) Guys wearing bright pink or purple shirts.
56) Guys riding bright or baby pink bikes. Bonus points if the guy is in an army uniform.
57) Most people wearing camo aren’t in the army.
58) Being able to tell the difference between the current camo in use by the army and the camo everybody buys at the surplus store.
59) Finally seeing something in English but still not being able to understand it because more than a little was lost in translation.
60) Being asked if you are Russian.
61) Being told you look Russian.
62) Being asked if you are Russian again even though you have said you are not.
63) Still being spoken to in Russian after all three of the above.
64) Little kids being afraid of you.
65) Everything being in cash.
66) Prices getting rounded to the nearest mao (dime) and sometimes to the nearest kuai (dollar).
67) Almost all prices are negotiable.
68) Your taxi driver running into the nearest 7-11 to get change.
69) The store owner running to the shop next door to get the right size of shoe for you.
70) Almost never getting a receipt.
71) Paying more if you want a receipt that will count for your business taxes.
72) Looking up the final ingredient on the Internet, copying the character and showing it the grocery store clerk.
73) Checking to see the ingredients in a frozen dinner by going to the vegetable section and pointing to the character while the clerk points to the vegetable.
74) One grocery clerk being assigned to four short aisles.
75) Said clerk following you around if they are not busy stocking or organizing.
76) Laundry hanging in storefronts.
77) Students staying in the classroom and teachers leaving.
78) Students clean the classroom and wipe the blackboard.
79) I’s look like z’s, capital E’s have the top horizontal line going the wrong direction and r’s look exactly like v’s.
80) Surprise at the fact that you can cook.
81) Surprise at the fact that you can sew.
82) Standing in the same place while students rotate taking pictures with you.
83) Examining the expiration date on your pop to make sure it still has fizz.
84) Not being too disappointed if the date is five months ago.
85) Not getting pop only when the date is eight months ago.


Yeah, that is a little how it is like. Always an adventure, if adventure is to be defined as "the unexpected by American standards."

Danger, Will Robinson, Danger

Every country in the world has dangerous things. It is just part of life. And, though it is hazardous not matter where you live to lick a light socket, each place in the world has a slightly different set of dangerous things. Call it culture.

Those who live there learn to step carefully around them from a young age. Sometimes because their mother slaps their hand, and sometimes because their mother lets them touch the fire. But we all learn.

For those of us who did not grow up in the culture we are currently living in, experiencing those dangerous things often result in heart palpitations, dizziness, dry mouth, etc., similar to the effects of some prescription medications.

Before I go any further, I must reassure my friends and family, namely my mother, that I am perfectly fine. I have the same number of fingers and toes that I did when I left LA. I do sincerely enjoy my host culture. In learning about China and coming to understand the Chinese culture, I have discovered one of the “dangerous things.”

Electric motorcycles.

Why would such a little thing be dangerous? It can’t go very fast. If you crashed, you could easily leap out of harm’s way. It is relatively reliable, providing you charge it. What could be so dangerous about that?

It’s quiet. The kind of quiet your dog is when he pads up behind you and sniffs the back of your leg with his cold wet nose. Of course when you shriek in fright, your dog immediately thinks he is headed for the dog food factory and begs forgiveness with puppy eyes and tail wags.

Electric motorcycles have not such emotion or fear. They are busy tootling away, carrying their driver to wherever it is they desire.

I guess I probably should stop and explain pedestrian rules. There really is no such thing as jaywalking. Or sidewalks for that matter. Oh, there are sidewalks. But to recall the words of that famous pirate, “they are more like guidelines.” Sidewalks are the same size as a small one way street. The only way you know they are sidewalks is that they are a small (one brick-height) curb up from the actual street. The actual street is for anything or anyone moving. The sidewalk is mostly for things or people not moving or moving very slowly.

Therefore, a sidewalk is entitled to have a person, a bicyclist, a donkey, a motorcyclist and a car just as much as a street is. The main difference, from observation and participation, is what you have to pay attention to. The street is generally where you watch your back, whereas the sidewalk requires you to direct most of your attention in front of yourself.

Cultural rules interact with each other. Which means you are going to get another culture explanation. Americans, on average, have a relatively large personal space. We walk around in little imaginary bubbles. We don’t like people to enter those bubbles without permission or unless they know us really well. Most other cultures have a much smaller personal space.

For example, talking two inches from someone’s face is not considered rude. I am not sure how big the Chinese personal space is; I havent really run around with a ruler measuring people while they talk. For one, it probably would not be appreciated. And for another, I am already considered odd enough. But I can tell you this—the Chinese personal space is much smaller than the American bubble.

Cars also have personal space. Don’t believe me? Look at how wide our roads and lanes are. Ignoring dumb cars like Hummers, do we really need that much space to drive in? In America, you would make sure you were a good few feet away from a pedestrian before you drove past.

Here, as long as the pedestrian doesn’t get hit, you are ok. And it is the pedestrian’s duty to get out of the way anyway. Sort of like a live version of rock, paper, scissors, except that what beats what just keeps getting bigger and doesn’t circle around.

What does all of this have to do with electric motorcycles?

Stated simply, they wizz by without warning several centimeters from your body. No warning, no safety zone. Just a quick breeze as they go by.

After several near heart attacks, the new pedestrian learns to pay attention. Life goes on as normal, albeit slightly altered from its previous conception.

But that doesn’t stop you from wanting to put a bell on the things.

The Effects of Winter

This blog is admittedly a long time in coming and I beg your forgiveness. The trouble with real winter, that is not the SoCal version, is that people unused to it, that is me, tend to stay inside. The side effect is that the exposure to local flavor that might prove blog-worthy is limited. The result is that one can only blog so many times on the cold before it becomes complaining, something I am trying not to do. Experiencing real winter is something I am striving to enjoy.

So instead of posting again on the coldness of cold weather, here is a smattering of observations that have happened as a result of winter. It will be a little while longer before I can go walk the streets of Hailar and gather fun and interesting experiences to post on.

It is still winter and I still haven't been out much. Not that I don’t like winter and snow and freezing temperatures and below freezing temperatures and ice. It is has been enjoyable, the parts that I wasn’t numb for. Rather, it is the dressing up that has hindered my participation.

Growing up one of my favorite books was Froggy. It is a cute little tale about a frog who wakes up in the middle of winter, something frogs are not supposed to do. He decides he wants to go enjoy the snow. The entire book chronicles how he gets dressed. Each time he goes outside, his mother yells out the window about a certain article of clothing he has forgotten to put on. Having never played in the snow, he forgets almost everything. He must come back inside, strip, put on the forgotten article, put everything previous back on, and go back outside, only to be reminded of something else. The last time his mother yells at him, it is “Froggy, you forgot your underwear!!!”

While I have been fortunate not to go that far in not knowing how to dress for winter, I can certainly sympathize with Froggy, who went back in for the last time, slowly took off his hat, his gloves, his coat, his socks, his shirt, his pants, etc., only to decide that he was too tired to get redressed. He crawls back into bed to finish his winter sleeping.

Several times coming back from getting groceries, I have realized after changing into inside clothes that I have forgotten something. Froggy had it right—sometimes it is just too much work to get ready to go back outside and time to call it a day. I can’t sleep away the winter like a frog, but I have discovered youku, which for a human can be about the same thing.

Ever see “You’ve Got Mail”? Personally, I think it is pretty much “Sleepless in Seattle” for the new century. However, given that Ryan and Hanks do well together, I am willing to forgive them for making a remake of their own movie. Anyway, one of the little rants has the Ryan character saying "People do strange things in foreign countries," to which the Kinnear character responds, “Absolutely. They buy leather jackets for much more than they are worth.” He should have also said "Watch really dumb movies and/or TV shows they never would watch otherwise."

No, this is not going to turn into a confessional where I blab all of the stupid things I have watched out of the country. I have learned to limit the amount of teasing ammunition I freely supply my friends and family. But here is one example, since some of you already know. In Romania, I saw the Lizzie McGuire Movie. Yes, I know, I should be ashamed of myself.

I am. Moving on.

Why do people do such things? I have several theories. And here they are, no drumroll necessary:

One, it is a chance to hear English that the mind does not have to tax itself to understand. I don't mind listening to broken, heavily accented English. After all, anyone who talks to me gets the same thing, just in Chinese. Speaking is the only way anyone gets better at a language. But listening takes a lot of energy.

Two, as far fetched as Hollywood is, it is closer to “home” than what is outside. You know the cultural rules. Even a brief whiff of "back home" can be comforting.

Three, boredom, plain and simple. That is my defense for the aforementioned flick, in addition to there being nothing else at the theater that I had not already seen and that was not rated higher than I was comfortable watching.

Back to youku. Thanks to this little site, I have been (mostly) kept from a repeat of my Romanian stupidity. Jericho, Heroes, Numb3rs, CSI—they are all there, as well as the dumb ones. In not-so-great quality. With Chinese subtitles. For semi-hampered load times.

The point is that they are there. I don’t really mind the first because I don’t really “watch” so much as listen while sewing. The second has actually been helpful in learning some characters. And the third? Well, that is just part of life outside the States…things take longer, whether it be getting groceries or watching TV.

Now that you know one of my secrets for staying sane, I must end by saying this is not all I have been doing. Most of my time is spent working. But let’s face it. A blog on internet research and what are essentially reports on said research just wouldn’t be interesting. The squeal I let loose when Jake said “Nuts!”…that might actually be blog-worthy.

Maybe.

Probably not.

But I tried.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what winter does to a person.

Signs It Might Be Cold

I am from California. The part of California that doesn’t have snow for 72 years. The part of California that when it does have its once-in-a-life-time-snow shuts completely down and tries using street sweepers on the snow. The part of California that posts freezing advisories during the weather bit of the news. The part of California that is afraid of freezing temperatures. The part of California that thinks fog is winter. The part of California that can wear flipflops all year if it wants to.

Now I am not completely ignorant of what the rest of the world calls winter. I was born in Colorado. I have visited my grandma in Chicago. I have been skiing. I have been to the mountains in January. But there is something about living in it, somethings you just don’t expect. So here are my top 5 signs it might be colder than a Californian is used to:

1) The snow on the rim of the chimneys is still there even though there is smoke coming out.
2) You go outside and think, “Wow, it is rather warm today.” You check the day’s temperature and learn it was 28 degrees F, instead of the 8 degrees F of yesterday.
3) You stop wearing your glasses on errands because they fog up when you go outside and when you go back inside.
4) Your neighborhood 7-11 mini store’s freezer section is out on the sidewalk. Below is the seafood section:


5) Your neighborhood 7-11 ministore’s freezer section is more frozen than if it were in the freezer inside. Below is the ice cream section:


So yeah, it is a little cold here. And it is only the beginning of December. Folks keep telling me to wait for January before I can say it is cold. They are crazy. It is cold now. But that could just be the California talking.

How To Buy a Skillet in China

First, you must find the little store you went to last time. Oh, there are other places to buy skillets, but you have some other things you want to buy that are only at this store. Besides, the other places are very expensive. After wandering down a side street, getting yelled at in very bad Russian by a random pedestrian trying to show off for his friends, walking down into an underground meat market where Fear Factor should set up shop for an episode, you finally find it tucked in a corner.

Second, you start looking at the pots and pans available. The store owner will soon catch on that this is what you are looking for and will start pulling out options from hitherto unseen nooks.

Third, shake your head at each wok pulled out and make motions for “smaller” and “flatter.” On the off chance she remembers some English from middle school, also say these words along with “too big.” Just to make sure you have covered all of the bases, say “skillet” as well.

Fourth, repeat step 3 several times until you are convinced that you have seen every wok the store has. Proceed to speaking English with your roommate and decide that they do not have one, so you will just buy one at the expensive store.

Fifth, the lady rummages through one last pile before you leave and pulls out…a skillet. Nod your head vigorously, point frantically and say “Yes, yes, yes! That one!”

Sixth, because you are someone who wants to learn what this cooking instrument is, motion to the skillet now cradled in your hands and shrug. Try saying “Name?” or “What is it?” after the blank look from the store owner sets in. Motion again more emphatically. The response will most likely be a stream of Chinese from which it is impossible to pick out any individual words at all. Just nod your head and smile.

Seventh, when the store owner starts her rummaging again, shrug and follow her. Once she starts pulling out lids and placing them on top of the skillet you are still holding, you realize that instead of figuring out you wanted the name of the pot you are holding she has interpreted your charades to mean you are asking for a lid for your new cooking implement. You decide it is too much hassle to try to explain you had been asking for the Chinese word, not another piece of cooking equipment, especially since a lid would probably be a good idea to get anyway.

Eighth, smile happily once the lid of acceptable diameter is located, but point questioningly at the hole in the center where the nob should be and is not. The store owner will shake her head and wave her hands in the universal “I know, I know, hold on” gesture. Just stand still with your skillet and nob-less lid.

Ninth, the store owner will rummage more, this time pulling out a lid that does not fit but that does have a nob. Unscrewing the nob, she will take back the lid you are holding and put the cannibalized nob on it. When she hands you back your now fully operational lid, smile, say thank you and do not think about the stripped lid. In due time, should it be purchased, some other lid will suffer the same indignity for it until there are no more nobs and the world for lids ceases to exist.

Tenth, finally you come to the part of the process where you pay for the skillet and its lid. Be sure to pay more than you should. This is traditional for foreigners, regardless of whether or not they speak the language or how many years they have spent in the country. Should you also purchase other items from the store overpaying will be made certain by the fact that you will be given a total without individual prices noted. Simply hand over the money, exchange xie-xie’s with the store owner and be happy that you were able to find everything you wanted in a country that does not always have what you are looking for.

Eleventh, arrive home and decide to put your new purchase to use, after washing it of course. Crack a few eggs, cut up some onion and tomatoes, plug in the contact cooker and prepare your stomach for a good old fashioned, almost-like-home omelet. Place the skillet on the cooker and turn cooker on to the desired medium heat. The cooker will beep. Lift the skillet and place back down to assure the cooker that there is a cooking instrument on it. The cooker will beep. Repeat previous step, this time a little more forcefully, although not so violently as to break your only means of cooking food. The cooker will continue to beep. Realize that the cooker is having some sort of mother bird complex will not accept a skillet from a different store.

Twelfth, decide you still want an omelet and proceed to cook your ingredients in the wok, purchased from same place as the cooker will accept. The omelet will become more like scrambled eggs and you will have to combat uneven cooking due to the wok’s curved shape, but you will be successful and the taste acceptable. Be content despite purchasing for too much money a pan that you cannot use because you have just eaten an almost-omelet, the entire reason you went searching for a skillet in the first place.

Thirteenth, decide to go looking tomorrow for a rice steamer so you can make crock pot chicken.